I was checking my emails, the other day and came across a message, sent by Mr. Shy.It was dated almost 4 months back. Four months of 'communication', began with a struggle to start a conversation, developed with tiffs and arguments, spotted with foolish tears,frozen with unexplained nonchalance and moments when you felt in love, out of love and no love!
Ladies and Gentlemen, I am going to meet Mr. Shy, in person, in the following two weeks!! I am absolutely excited about meeting this guy ,with whom, I've shared the most ridiculous random thoughts ( where halfway through the sentence, I realise that he really did not need to know this).
But, the question of marriage leaves me flummoxed. The conundrum is exacerbated by his silence and my spontaneity. Objectively, it appears, I am over the top about him and he is down in the dumps ,when it comes to me.
We talk but we aren't inseparable. I might just miss my lunch to speak to him but he bluntly puts away the conversation as he has to sleep.He does sense it ,if I am low but says the most lovable things, he doesn't mean.He smiles when I talk .He notices things about me which I overlook,for instance, smiling with my pearly whites invites a cheerful conversation ,however,a smile with pursed lips indicates a moral science lecture ahead.He catches instantly what ticks me off but doesn't do a thing about it.He is supportive for my career prospects abroad but owing to the arduous process it involves , suggests for an alternate career path. An altercation has never concluded in separate ways, we 've survived them so far.I can't fathom his thoughts nor his silence.I feel silly and absurd that I made him say that he likes me, did I just force him to say? Is he really the man I want to marry who slept peacefully after making me cry terribly?Alright, he did make up for it the next day but did I just give in to soon? And, should I marry the man who was enjoying few drinks in the bar while I was burning under the scorching sun, in a fix, trying to reach him out?
And shouldn't I marry this man , who took all the nasty outburst after the above two incidents, in his stride, continued to smile, and just sat there until I vented out? And should I believe in his gut feeling which saved us from calling off when I termed us as incompatible?I gave up, but he didn't.
There's no love, of course its too early ( plus, it's an arranged set up), but I wonder if there is scope for love? He doesn't display any care or affection.There is an acute deficiency of tenderness, love and care and the word pampering doesn't exist for him. Nevertheless, I have an instinct, he isn't all that cold and inexpressive and maybe there's a lot to share when we meet . We have become good friends . Even, if it doesn't work out, his thought will always bring a smile on my face.
Thanks for bearing through my gorgeous readers, love, live, laugh!
But, the question of marriage leaves me flummoxed. The conundrum is exacerbated by his silence and my spontaneity. Objectively, it appears, I am over the top about him and he is down in the dumps ,when it comes to me.
We talk but we aren't inseparable. I might just miss my lunch to speak to him but he bluntly puts away the conversation as he has to sleep.He does sense it ,if I am low but says the most lovable things, he doesn't mean.He smiles when I talk .He notices things about me which I overlook,for instance, smiling with my pearly whites invites a cheerful conversation ,however,a smile with pursed lips indicates a moral science lecture ahead.He catches instantly what ticks me off but doesn't do a thing about it.He is supportive for my career prospects abroad but owing to the arduous process it involves , suggests for an alternate career path. An altercation has never concluded in separate ways, we 've survived them so far.I can't fathom his thoughts nor his silence.I feel silly and absurd that I made him say that he likes me, did I just force him to say? Is he really the man I want to marry who slept peacefully after making me cry terribly?Alright, he did make up for it the next day but did I just give in to soon? And, should I marry the man who was enjoying few drinks in the bar while I was burning under the scorching sun, in a fix, trying to reach him out?
And shouldn't I marry this man , who took all the nasty outburst after the above two incidents, in his stride, continued to smile, and just sat there until I vented out? And should I believe in his gut feeling which saved us from calling off when I termed us as incompatible?I gave up, but he didn't.
There's no love, of course its too early ( plus, it's an arranged set up), but I wonder if there is scope for love? He doesn't display any care or affection.There is an acute deficiency of tenderness, love and care and the word pampering doesn't exist for him. Nevertheless, I have an instinct, he isn't all that cold and inexpressive and maybe there's a lot to share when we meet . We have become good friends . Even, if it doesn't work out, his thought will always bring a smile on my face.
Thanks for bearing through my gorgeous readers, love, live, laugh!
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